Limericks

There was a young woman from Alnwick

Who, when told to “Keep calm and don’t panic”

Said “It’s all right for you, you don’t need a poo

And the queue for the loo is just manic.”

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A Women’s Institute member named Lisa

Thought she’d won the first prize for “Best Pizza”

Till it fell off the table, exposing ‘Dominoes” label

Which didn’t exactly please her.

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There was an old woman from Russia
Told the sailor “Ya don’t touch my tush, Ya”
When he chose to persist
She fractured his wrist
You don’t upset a feisty babushka

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A cold bloodied driver named Peter

Hooked his exhaust pipe up to his heater

When he started to choke

As his car filled with smoke

He regretted his custom-built feature

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