Tag Archives: limericks


There was a young woman from Alnwick

Who, when told to “Keep calm and don’t panic”

Said “It’s all right for you, you don’t need a poo

And the queue for the loo is just manic.”


A Women’s Institute member named Lisa

Thought she’d won the first prize for “Best Pizza”

Till it fell off the table, exposing ‘Dominoes” label

Which didn’t exactly please her.


There was an old woman from Russia
Told the sailor “Ya don’t touch my tush, Ya”
When he chose to persist
She fractured his wrist
You don’t upset a feisty babushka


A cold bloodied driver named Peter

Hooked his exhaust pipe up to his heater

When he started to choke

As his car filled with smoke

He regretted his custom-built feature